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....Blind Faith

As I have not posted yet this year I thought it was about time for me to update my blog on my year thus far although it has been a difficult one.  In the last 47 days I have gone through a lot of trials within my little (yet large) family yet today is the first day that I had clarity on how hard I'm really taking it.  As a mother you go through your daily routines and get things done in order to maintain normalcy for your children and you think of your emotional self later.  Well here I am almost 50 days later finally thinking of my emotional self.

I sit here and I remember watching videos and discussing them with my co-workers (my what I have named them....'Aces') about parents that teach their babies to learn to swim by placing them in the water and allowing them to learn to self rescue.  The babies within weeks learned to flip onto their backs and float to safety.  Although, this was a terrifying event to watch as a parent I totally understood the logic behind it and could see the fearless expressions in most of the babies faces.  They had 'blind faith' that they would be fine, yet to develop such fear that may cause self destruction.

It appears that as a wife I have developed such fear and I'm failing at depending on the blind faith that God has provided me in order to know and understand that he will always be here walking with me and providing me what I need.  I want to walk this walk with such faith so that I may be successful.  The statement was made to me recently that, "God shows us things in the natural in order for us to understand them in the spiritual realm" and I didn't get it at first but after much pondering I now see it.  Within five days three major desires of my heart has come to past and I know it wasn't me it was God and I am grateful for him showing me that he is here even when my eyes are closed.  In the spirit I know that the moment I let go God is resting his hand behind me to hold me up so that I may maintain my footing and this is the moment I stand on this to somehow continue this journey. 

I am a strong woman of God no matter how many times I need to reminded of that.  I am a dedicated wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend and I am at this moment putting down my physical boxing gloves to fight this fight yet putting on my spiritual armor so that I may win and end the battle. 

Dedicated to my husband and friend.
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